Hi, I’m Shell. This blog is a record of thoughts that go through my head on my backyard on a Sunday afternoon, very much inspired by Alanis Morissette’s wisdom and accidently written live from her hometown in Canada. Read more…

RECENT POSTS

Book. The Highly Sensitive Parent

I started listening to the book “The highly sensitive parent” by Elaine Aron. A book I learned existed because of Alanis. I am reading it hoping that I fit in to this definition. Hoping that whatever it is that I am has a name… because, if it has a name, I can learn about it, and if I can learn about it, I can … Read More Book. The Highly Sensitive Parent

Home

At some point I realized I just wanted to go home. Not in the perfect city, perfect country in a house with the perfect library. Not even the actual house I grew up in, just a place that felt safe and felt mine. We moved 6 times in the past 5 years. 5 different cities, 2 very different countries. There was something about not … Read More Home

Relaxing

As we waited for a vaccine, a cure or a sudden end of COVID19, my mom and I decided to watch a few feel-good movies from our past this weekend. My kids were mostly sitting on the floor, playing with their legos through basically the 5 movies. And I thought, pandemic or no pandemic, life could never possibly be better than this. Sitting on … Read More Relaxing

Me, Alanis and the books

It’s funny because I never met my grandfather. None of them, actually. Yet, I have inherited something very particular from each one of them. My maternal grandfather loved books and alpino chocolate, just like I do. He was also a painter like me. He left me a collection of old books and paintings. Some of them made by him. I cherish them, deeply. Now, … Read More Me, Alanis and the books

Smells like childhood

I don’t quite understand how my brain works. The way a smell triggers a memory or the way there’s a certain song that will always make me cry as if something terrible had happened. There’s one thing though that I know it’s very planted in my brain and even though I don’t get the mechanism, I like the way it feels. Opening a brand … Read More Smells like childhood

Living in the now

This picture is perfect. Real photographers could criticize it enough, I am sure. But it is perfect, look: This is a picture of my dad’s ultimate dream life. That’s him sitting on that chair. In the water, you can see my mom and her grandkids. This is all my dad wants from life, he told me. He said, he just wants to sit at … Read More Living in the now

I’m not Lula Mae anymore

I think I’ve changed. Hopefully for the better, although, not entirely. I used to think that the universe would punish me if I ever got mad at anyone. I actually googled “what would Jesus do?” at one point trying to suppress negative feelings. That’s the part where I think I’ve changed for the worse. I don’t avoid conflict as much as I used to. … Read More I’m not Lula Mae anymore

Letter to myself

I found a letter I wrote to myself 5 years ago. Apparently, I’ve been this dramatic for a very long time. Dear future me, Beyond all the crying, the screaming and them not doing what you tell them to, there’s a moment you visit from time to time as a parent. It doesn’t matter how tired you are, you cannot sleep. You don’t want … Read More Letter to myself